Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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