i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
