If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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