i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
