Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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