peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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