I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
we're so committed to being not committed
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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