Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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