I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
