Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
