We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My pussy is not your playground.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You may now shotgun with the bride
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
