So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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