Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you never un-have a 4some
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