your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
