If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
