im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
