I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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