I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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