so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
