she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
