there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
