ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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