last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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