okay pat passed out under dana's car
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
