I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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