haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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