she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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