ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
