Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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