Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
God I need to hump something, right now.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
