she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
