I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
