he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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