Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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