Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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