remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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