do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
