i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."