She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
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FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
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My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
True strength comes from lack of pants
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..