Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"

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  (713): eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae" http://tfl.nu/afr2
  Replies (7) Good night (808) Bad night (3398)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.

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  (301): Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background. http://tfl.nu/pa5j
  Replies (23) Good night (5657) Bad night (828)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?

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  (614): over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read? http://tfl.nu/2tdc
  Replies (13) Good night (2776) Bad night (839)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"

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  (615): Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing" http://tfl.nu/ru0o
  Replies (7) Good night (4106) Bad night (1252)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".

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  (865): She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit". http://tfl.nu/1ezf
  Replies (23) Good night (8312) Bad night (1018)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7

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  (313): he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7 http://tfl.nu/fzvy
  Replies (3) Good night (2341) Bad night (853)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better

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  (970): There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better http://tfl.nu/7u74
  Replies (3) Good night (2566) Bad night (1323)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans

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  (484): you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans http://tfl.nu/5hx4
  Replies (7) Good night (3187) Bad night (838)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.

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  (+44): Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea. http://tfl.nu/w3ht
  Replies (6) Good night (2893) Bad night (866)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.

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  (504): Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated. http://tfl.nu/1xhy
  Replies (7) Good night (1014) Bad night (1998)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.

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  (917): I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved. http://tfl.nu/p2yu
  Replies (3) Good night (1244) Bad night (607)
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  (909): View more from California

  I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...

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  (909): I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji... http://tfl.nu/rxc7
  Replies (5) Good night (881) Bad night (405)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.

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  (570): He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile. http://tfl.nu/txef
  Replies (11) Good night (609) Bad night (351)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.

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  (503): She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations. http://tfl.nu/6ra3
  Replies (7) Good night (408) Bad night (562)
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  (310): View more from California

  He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing

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  (310): He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing http://tfl.nu/pfhu
  Replies (0) Good night (278) Bad night (413)

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