just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
