Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and the officer said have you been drinking

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and i said NOO SIR.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and he said, I am a woman.

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  (864): and the officer said have you been drinking (864): and i said NOO SIR. (864): and he said, I am a woman. http://tfl.nu/8g3i
  Replies (19) Good night (2162) Bad night (7082)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  ...well that sucks.

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  (312): Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck. (773): ...well that sucks. http://tfl.nu/p9wr
  Replies (37) Good night (774) Bad night (4229)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.

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  (303): They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome. http://tfl.nu/wbzs
  Replies (23) Good night (4305) Bad night (1074)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library

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  (404): Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library http://tfl.nu/areb
  Replies (5) Good night (2269) Bad night (600)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed

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  (330): tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed http://tfl.nu/01ok
  Replies (22) Good night (2188) Bad night (1197)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.

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  (240): Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird. (434): Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls. http://tfl.nu/td3o
  Replies (12) Good night (3569) Bad night (884)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.

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  (248): im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night. http://tfl.nu/slk3
  Replies (2) Good night (554) Bad night (1487)
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  (510): View more from California

  Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me

  (206): View more from Washington

  That is an interesting fear as well as image

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  (510): Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me (206): That is an interesting fear as well as image http://tfl.nu/r0xy
  Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (578)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  How's dating the med student working out for you?

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  A true anatomy project.

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  (414): How's dating the med student working out for you? (715): After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was. (414): A true anatomy project. http://tfl.nu/in9w
  Replies (2) Good night (1159) Bad night (399)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.

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  (203): Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/mf50
  Replies (1) Good night (1012) Bad night (482)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you

  (1+44): View more from

  Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause

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  (+44): This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you (1+44): Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause http://tfl.nu/oxqa
  Replies (4) Good night (1050) Bad night (364)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving

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  (905): I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving http://tfl.nu/6325
  Replies (2) Good night (822) Bad night (365)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.

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  (613): After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot. http://tfl.nu/zug5
  Replies (4) Good night (898) Bad night (308)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more

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  (515): I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more http://tfl.nu/hk0x
  Replies (0) Good night (306) Bad night (389)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?

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  (270): My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/2qhw
  Replies (1) Good night (250) Bad night (215)

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