And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
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I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
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I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?