OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
