Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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