some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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