just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize