Christians are straight up FREAKS
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
