You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
