There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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