he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize