I think my fart just growled at me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
