and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
