please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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