Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
