I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize