My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
did i just pee glitter
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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