I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
