Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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