Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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