shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
