I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
