giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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