why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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