Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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