Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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